Nobody Puts Baby In The Corner

OMG, I can't believe that Russ is married! It was a beautiful wedding - Jackie decorated the church with Christmas trees and poinsettias and it was lovely. And I would assume that they had a nice reception, but I wouldn't know because I didn't get to go. That's right, I flew all the way to Michigan in December and didn't even get to go to the damn reception. Let me back up a bit and explain...

After the wedding the plan was for me to drive Russ' car (piece of crap) to the reception with Georgia, and Ernie would drive grandma in the rental van we got. Well, change of plans when the rental van wouldn't start because the battery was dead - yes, it was that cold! So, we all piled in Russ' car (piece of crap) and headed over to the reception, leaving the van at the church. A few minutes in I got on the phone with Dollar Rent A Car, trying to figure out what to do since we had to get to the airport in a few hours. Of course we had left the rental car paperwork in the van that was still at the church, and the rental company couldn't find any record of a Tim Nelson renting a van. So, I had to get back in Russ' car (piece of crap) and go get the rental paperwork.

When I got there, there was a sleeve with some phone numbers on it, but it really didn't have any of our rental information. I looked around, but didn't see anything, so I got back in Russ' car (piece of crap) to go back to the reception and give it to Tim so he could call Dollar Rent a Car (as they had informed me that when they did find our information they would not be able to speak to me about anything because I hadn't rented the van). When I got back and gave it to Tim he promptly told me there was another paper with all the information he needed. Round 2...

I got back into Russ' car (piece of crap) and drove back to the church. After much searching, I finally found said paperwork underneath the passenger side seat. Back into Russ' car (piece of crap) to go back to the reception hall. I am now very hungry and very pissed off -you do the math. I walked in while Tim was giving his toast, and five minutes later Jackie threw the bouquet and everything was over.

When Tim finally got them on the phone they realized that we couldn't find a record of Tim renting the van because they had written his name as David Nelson!!! We all piled back into Russ' car (piece of crap) to go back to the church, tear down the decorations and wait for roadside assistance. On our way over to the church, the interior lights in Russ' car (piece of crap) came on and we had no idea how to get them to turn off. We tried every button and switch, but nothing worked. Back at the church Russ couldn't figure out how to get them off either, so Russ, Tim and Jackie's dad stood outside in the rain for a very long time working on Russ' car (piece of crap) until they jiggled something just right and they went off.

An hour later someone from roadside assistance came, jump started the van, and we never turned it off again until we got back to the airport. I love you Russ, but maybe you should ask Santa for a new car, since your current car leaves much to be desired (piece of crap) and Dollar Rent a Car will not be receiving any more business from the David Nelson family!