Nobody Puts Baby In The Corner

So, I find myself in BLOG land after being a hold out for sooooo long. I know that all of you out there are silently saying, "I told you so" in your heads and you have every right. I once was a BLOG snob, but now instead of holding my nose high it is buried in my keyboard! Now you will all be privy to the amazing adventures of this first-time mommy and her beautiful baby girl (and sometimes I might mention that nutty husband of mine).
So, to start it off I must proudly tell you that Hailey is starting to sign! She can sign the word "milk." Of course, it is hard to tell at this point if she knows that she is signing milk or if she is just opening and closing her fist because it is fun, but Tim and I make sure to give her milk and reinforce every time she signs it, and in my head I like to believe that she is brilliant and knows what she is doing. Research says that kids can sign as young as 7-months, so it is possible. Next week she will be reading!

I have always had diaper woes with Hailey, mostly due to her petite frame. We have tried several different kinds of diapers, but the only ones that have a 75% chance of holding in the foulness that is expelled into them are Pampers Swaddlers (and they don't make them in the next size up, so don't know what we'll do then). But, other than that, diaper changing should be an easy task, wouldn't you think? Well, apparently you need to meet my daughter, the Houdini of the baby world! She has taken to rolling over onto her stomach at the exact moment you are trying to put on a new diaper, thus rendering you helpless and fearful that the foulness may not be contained! So, you roll her back over and this time give her a toy or something to keep her occupied. However, being the genius that she is she is onto this little trick and is no longer falling for it, so she tries to roll over again. Here I am holding her legs as tight as I can up in the air and she is trying to twist and roll like a crocodile trying to kill it's prey. I bet the sight of it would make a great video on YouTube (and sometimes I'm looking over my shoulder to see if Ashton Kutcher is going to jump out of the closet and tell me I've been Punk'd!) Diaper changes, which ought to be a mundane part of my everyday routine have become a battle of wits and wills at my house. But,as I often tell my preschoolers, "I ALWAYS win!"

Being a stay-at-home-mom (SAHM for those of you who don't know the lingo!) has definitely been a very different experience for me this year. If you know me, you know that I don't have a stay-at-home kind of personality. I used to drive my husband crazy on the weekends, because I wanted to go out and do something while all he wanted to do was have a lazy day at home. Truth be told, Tim didn't think I would make it this year, and predicted I would be as looney as a dingbat by now. But I have made it, and have learned quite a bit about myself in the process. Here is one thing I learned...
I really enjoy TV talk shows! Not the kind that require you to give paternity tests to 15 different men to find out who fathered your illegitimate child. No, I mean the kind that have a comedy bit followed by silly segments and then short interviews with famous celebrities. My favorites are Live with Regis & Kelly and The Ellen Show. If you have ever watched The Ellen Show you will know that she has silly returning segments all the time, so I thought I would create The Mary Show and have returning segments to my BLOG site. To start it off, I am creating a segment entitled "Worst Photos Ever" (modeled after Ellen's "Best Photos Ever"). My first entry is a little embarassing to show, but you are family and some of you have seen me in very unflattering situations (Sue, I'm referring to you:), so I trust that you won't use this as blackmail at a later date. Check out the rolls under my arms (gosh, did I really get that big?) and the expression on my mom and Hailey's faces. It's as if they are both sniffing the wrong end of a dog that just ate some rancid beef. Enjoy!

One of my favorite all time movies is Dirty Dancing. I have watched it probably 1,000 times and I can recite almost the whole movie from heart. Well...Scott and Staci got me an awesome Christmas present this year - a t-shirt from the movie that says, "Nobody puts baby in a corner." It is super-cute, red cap sleeves and I love it. And, even better, Hailey has a matching onsie that says the same thing! There is only one catch...it is REALLY small. It says it's a medium, but only if you live in munchikin land. When I got it the first thing I thought was, "crap, it's so cute but I am totally embarassed to try and wear it." Some people could have been discouraged and thrown it away. Others might have chosen to wear it only when alone in the house, confident that the pets wouldn't care if their belly hung out over the sides. I, however, chose to see it as a challenge, and I put the shirt in my closet determined to wear it by summer.
I have been learning to cook healthy dishes, eating smaller portions and exercising like a maniac. My daily routine involves a grueling 45-minute treadmill workout that burns 500 calories and goes 3 miles (according to the treadmill, anyways). Then I follow with weights or a bun-thigh workout on DVD and some abs - if anyone is interested I highly recommend Shape Magazines "Best Bikini Body Ever" workout! Through the process I kept eyeing that super-cute shirt and never gave-up. Now, the shirt is coming out of the closet (bet that title had some of you scared, especially after I declared my love for the Ellen show in my last post:)! I can confidently wear the shirt out in public and plan to do so often. Thanks Scott and Staci for being the best motivation for me to get myself back in shape after baby. Here is my new favorite t-shirt!